Tuckford Bunny Press
© 2009-2019 William Frank | Tuckford Bunny Press |  Selden, NY  |  Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication or website may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
The Gallimaufry of William Frank
This page will feature a mix of different works, from off-the-cuff songs to sprays of fiction, excerpts from plays, really any kind of work I feel like putting up for a lark.  Enjoy the farrago!
Song:  William Frank Is Awful & Gross
William Frank is gross, he's really gross. You shouldn't look him in the face or get too close. If you really want to do it I must tell you to eschew it, William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. I pity a person with a nose. His smell is rather rude so I think we must conclude that William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. He's like an egg so rotten it explodes. He makes the sulfur in the room seem like a grand perfume, William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. If you're not careful you could end up comatose. His personality's obscene and his mind is a latrine, William Frank is awful & he's gross. It’s impossible to comprehend how gross. He's like a centipede that lives between your toes. He's a cramp, he's a cringe, and he's totally unhinged. William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's truly gross. There's no point in telling him because he knows. Is he stupid or on meth or just best friends with Death? William Frank is awful & he's gross. If you won't listen to me, or regard your sanity, if you think you can endure his dreadful company, if you're going to take a chance, like a boil you'll be lanced by the enemy of everything that's sacred to romance, if you come to me in pain, or simply to complain, I'm pretty sure I warned you 'bout his dirty scrambled brains, if deaf like a stone, then you are on your own, I won't take you to the hospital or care for you at home, The terror of all Bills, won't you overdose on pills if I'm going through this trouble and you want to meet him still? That's a better outcome than doing something dumb in a bag of piranhas that is just as cuddlesome, if it were up to me, I'd throw him in the sea, but he'd probably take with him children and the elderly so in short, let me close, don't casually suppose it might be fun to meet him and you will not decompose Greater souls than you are nothing but a goo William Frank is awful & he's gross.
Birthday Song for My Co-Workers
You’re Old! You’re like a gray piece of mold! You’re Old! You’ve got wrinkles and folds! You’ve Aged! Like a big wheel of cheese! You’ve Aged! Your tits are down by your knees!   You’re Old! My God, and how! You’re Old! There’s nothing left for you now! You’ve Aged! Like Great Uncles and Aunts You’ve Aged! Who sit there shitting their pants!   You’re Old! You smell like Ben Gay! You’re Old! You’re confused every day! You’ve Aged! Like Madonna and Cher! You’ve Aged! And you’re not stopping there!   You’re Old! Would you like some more prunes? You’re Old! Death will be there soon! You’ve Aged! You’ve got old person ass You’ve Aged! With uncontrollable gas!   You’re Old! Welcome to Hell You’re Old! And demented as well! You’ve Aged! I better wrap this thing up You’ve Aged! For your time’s almost up   You’re Old! Don’t take it so bad! You’re Old! I’m lying, it’s sad! You’ve Aged! I’ll remember you when You’re Old! And you’re ghostly, closely, mostly almost dead!
Tuckford Bunny Press
© 2009-2019 William Frank | Tuckford Bunny Press |  Selden, NY  |  Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication or website may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
The Gallimaufry of William Frank
This page will feature a mix of different works, from off-the-cuff songs to sprays of fiction, excerpts from plays, really any kind of work I feel like putting up for a lark.  Enjoy the farrago!
Song:  William Frank Is Awful & Gross
William Frank is gross, he's really gross. You shouldn't look him in the face or get too close. If you really want to do it I must tell you to eschew it, William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. I pity a person with a nose. His smell is rather rude so I think we must conclude that William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. He's like an egg so rotten it explodes. He makes the sulfur in the room seem like a grand perfume, William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's really gross. If you're not careful you could end up comatose. His personality's obscene and his mind is a latrine, William Frank is awful & he's gross. It’s impossible to comprehend how gross. He's like a centipede that lives between your toes. He's a cramp, he's a cringe, and he's totally unhinged. William Frank is awful & he's gross. William Frank is gross, he's truly gross. There's no point in telling him because he knows. Is he stupid or on meth or just best friends with Death? William Frank is awful & he's gross. If you won't listen to me, or regard your sanity, if you think you can endure his dreadful company, if you're going to take a chance, like a boil you'll be lanced by the enemy of everything that's sacred to romance, if you come to me in pain, or simply to complain, I'm pretty sure I warned you 'bout his dirty scrambled brains, if deaf like a stone, then you are on your own, I won't take you to the hospital or care for you at home, The terror of all Bills, won't you overdose on pills if I'm going through this trouble and you want to meet him still? That's a better outcome than doing something dumb in a bag of piranhas that is just as cuddlesome, if it were up to me, I'd throw him in the sea, but he'd probably take with him children and the elderly so in short, let me close, don't casually suppose it might be fun to meet him and you will not decompose Greater souls than you are nothing but a goo William Frank is awful & he's gross.
You’re Old! You’re like a gray piece of mold! You’re Old! You’ve got wrinkles and folds! You’ve Aged! Like a big wheel of cheese! You’ve Aged! Your tits are down by your knees!   You’re Old! My God, and how! You’re Old! There’s nothing left for you now! You’ve Aged! Like Great Uncles and Aunts You’ve Aged! Who sit there shitting their pants!   You’re Old! You smell like Ben Gay! You’re Old! You’re confused every day! You’ve Aged! Like Madonna and Cher! You’ve Aged! And you’re not stopping there!   You’re Old! Would you like some more prunes? You’re Old! Death will be there soon! You’ve Aged! You’ve got old person ass You’ve Aged! With uncontrollable gas!   You’re Old! Welcome to Hell You’re Old! And demented as well! You’ve Aged! I better wrap this thing up You’ve Aged! For your time’s almost up   You’re Old! Don’t take it so bad! You’re Old! I’m lying, it’s sad! You’ve Aged! I’ll remember you when You’re Old! And You’re ghostly, closely, mostly almost dead!
Birthday Song for My Co-Workers